What do you mean ?!

First time ever crossing the pond!

What do you mean?!?!??!?!? What do you mean one day you can wake up and decide you aren’t happy with who you are and just… revitalize yourself?!

This all began after my first-ever trip to Spain, courtesy of my beloved best friend. Speaking of my Spain experience is a whole other tangent—and that’s not the point for this entry. Not today at least... :)

After my arrival back to the States, I was incredibly under the weather. I don’t even want to explain in depth how bad that experience was, it literally takes me back just thinking of it.

I start feeling better, right? Get this... I SNEEZE… and get a crick in my neck (neck gets stuck). I couldn’t move my head to the left. Couldn’t drive. Literally stuck. Terrifying. It’s happened to me before, so thankfully I knew how to handle the situation.

When I eventually healed from this overseas trip, s*ckness, and this crick in my neck, after almost a whole month, I had a come-to-Jesus moment. I truly took a step back from life and knew I never again wanted to take advantage of my well-being.

So I never did. (Edit: and never will!! HELLO!)

There’s a lot more obviously… but this is just the tip of the iceberg of the evolution of myself, essentially. When I look back at what the real trigger of my development was… it was definitely the humility I experienced at what was my rock bottom.

The best thing about rock bottom, however, is that the only way out is up! Or... you can stay there at rock bottom, make a residency, and just lay there and do nothing with your precious life. Jk. Don’t do that. PLEASE STAND UP.

Bringing it back to what I was speaking on… if you aren’t happy with where you currently are in your life, who says you can’t just decide to make a change… for the better, I HOPE… I know. :)

So that’s exactly what I did.

I restructured my life and daily routine completely. A whole 180° compared to who I once was and the way I once lived.

It’s the books I read too. I really soak up all the info I get from a good book and incorporate it somehow, some way into my life, and before you know it… it’s just part of my routine.

Pretty much... I restructured my life around me and what I wanted to do.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do in the beginning, but I felt this need to be alone. To really be alone. Not lonely. Alone. Just me, myself, and I.

So that’s what I began to do.

I came to find out I loved being alone.

I intuitively knew this from my childhood because I liked being alone then as well. However, over the years of my adolescence and in the few relationships I was in... I lost myself. In more ways than one.

Just so happens... I was actually in a relationship when all of this was happening. And I realized: relationships are a pretty big deal.

I knew I wasn’t being the best partner for them and they weren’t for me.

SO GET THIS?!!!!!

I communicated that to them... and we gracefully went our separate ways.

I’ve stayed in some relationships for longer than I would’ve hoped in my past... but the ending of this one felt like the ending of a continuous cycle in my life.

The cycle of being the martyr.

I broke it.

What once felt like mine to carry... is now mine to let go.

Bottom line is: I woke up one day and decided to take charge of what I do have control over… and transmute all this pain and fear into something good… into pure alchemy.

And just like that… this Phoenix rose from the ashes.

To seal this off in time... I’d like for you to take a look in the mirror:

Are you 111% genuinely happy?
Genuinely proud of yourself and how far you’ve come... and how far you still have to go?

Can you speak with conviction from your past mistakes and lessons... and know that you couldn’t have acted in a more evolved way than you were at that time?

If you can... that’s amazing. I love that for you!

If not... what’s stopping you from taking that next step toward the highest and best version of yourself?

Btw... you will have to confront whatever you’re avoiding in this life at one point or another.

Why not face it head-on and get through the storm versus running away from it... is what I’m saying.

Do what you will with what you please... take what resonates... and leave the rest.

✧ From my <3 to yours,
Chérie